What happened to you?
by Rose Lupus
Summary: Helena does not know what a home is, but she will take this little angel to hers.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** God dammit Orphan Black, stop making it necessary for me to write fanfiction already!

**Summary: **Helena saves Kira. Because I need it to happen. Will be a short series of drabbles, because I don't have time to write.

* * *

Helena wasn't in the hospital long before the Prolethians came to claim her. They always came for Helena. They told the hospital staff they were transferring her to a private facility, put her in a wheelchair and pushed her to the hospital doors. As soon as they were out of sight though, their hands were rough and insistent pushing her into the van, strapping her wrists over her head to the metal loop above her seat.

They were angry with Helena. She would be punished. She knew this, knew exactly how she would be punished even, because this scenario had played out over and over again for almost as long as she could remember. Almost. There was a time, hazy in the back of her memory, where she was small and sweet and had no fear in her heart. The sisters spoke sternly when she was naughty, but Helena was rarely naughty. They never hit. Not once. They plaited her hair gently, read to her the stories from the bible, sang sweet hymns to make her smile, held her hand when they crossed the street. When the man took her away, she cried for them, but they never came.

The Prolethian guards spoke harshly and shoved her into the cage. Helena fought and bit and scratched like the wild animal she was until they hit her in the chest so recently opened in theatre to fix her bleeding heart. Helena was strong, she didn't cry out, but the pain forced tears down her cheeks and she curled around the blinding pain as they padlocked the chain securely. When the pain receded to a thudding ache, the guards were gone and she was alone in the dimly lit room.

"Helena?" a little voice whispered thinly from behind her, proving her wrong.

Helena snapped around to face the speaker. The little girl stepped closer to the cage, pressed her tear stained face to the bars confining her.

"Helena?"

Helena looked over Kira's shoulder to the little cot set up in the corner of the room, and instantly, she understood.

"Hello angel," she greeted, the words she learnt from her Sisters weighed down with decades worth of sadness.

Kira reached her arms through the gaps in the cage, and Helena pressed the soft little hands to her cheeks.

"They took you," Helena said. It was not a question, for Helena knew this story. "They came while you were sleeping."

Kira nodded, lips pressed tightly together.

"I want to go home."

Helena nodded, patting the little hand beneath hers. Helena Knew this story far too well.


	2. Chapter 2

It had never really occurred to Helena to escape. She wished to go home when she was very small, but being very small knew she could not escape those who caged her. The Prolethians had held her captive for so many years, she had forgotten about freedom. Forgotten about wanting to go home. It was Kira who brought that back to her, with her quiet sobs and clinging hands. Kira remembered home. Kira had a mother. A family.

Slowly the little girl's pain dug inside her, wormed through years of training, years of fear and hopelessness and hurt, to the part of Helena who longed for the convent which was her home. Helena cried with Kira as her heart rediscovered loss and longing for family. Feeling such things was even more painful than the ache in her chest, because these wounds, once scarred over and numbed were once again as raw as they were the day Helena was taken from the closest thing she had ever had to home. Kira's pain became Helena's pain and she could not stand for it to go on any longer.

This pain made Helena sharp and dangerous in a way that she had not been before. Helena had never wanted something quite like she did now. She had a goal of her own for the first time, one not fed to her by Tomas. The idea made her strong, gave the scattered, shattered parts of herself a singular focus. She would take Kira to her home. Kira would not see the things Helena had seen. She would not suffer. She would not hurt. Would not live as she had lived. Would not be made like Helena. She turned this idea over and over in her head for many hours, sitting silently on the floor of the cage.

When Kira woke in the morning, Helena crooked a finger at her niece to call her over.

"Angel," she whispered softly, "When I tell you, you do not see, you do not hear, yes?"

Kira looked confused.

"Like this," Helena squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her hands to her ears. "You do not see, you do not hear, you stay very still. You do this when I say, and I will take you home."

Kira nodded and grabbed Helena's hand through the cage.

"Thank you Helena."

"You are welcome, little angel."


	3. Chapter 3

It was a week later when Helena saw the moment coming. They came to bring her food, but this day, the men were different. The men were not watching her enough, her body felt strong again, and Helena knew it was time.

"Angel" she whispered, and waggled her fingers through the bars at Kira, who sat on her cot, hugging her knees.

Kira turned her head to Helena, saw the men behind her. She closed her eyes and slipped her fingers over her ears just as Helena had shown her. The men did not see. The men were stupid and blind. The men did not last long when Helena got hold of their keys, one knocked out and lying on the floor before she was even out of the cage. The other rushed at her when she freed herself, but Helena was fury and rage and wanting to go home, and in a matter of seconds his head met the wall and the room was quiet again.

She touched her hand to Kira's shoulder. Kira opened her eyes and looked around the room with wide eyes.

Helena pressed a finger to her lips.

"We go now," she told Kira, and took her hand, slipping the stolen ring of keys into her pocket.


	4. Chapter 4

Kira's hand is small and warm and trusting in hers as Helena leads her away from the warehouse, quickly and quietly.

"Are they dead?" Kira asked her with a concerned frown as she and Helena ducked into another alley.

"Who?"

"The men. Are they?"

"They sleep," Helena answered. Killing was for the copies, not the Proletheans. "They wake soon. We must go quickly."

They come to a bus stop, where Helena fidgets anxiously, eyes flitting rapidly until a bus arrives. She pays with coins from the wallet of one of the guards, takes Kira to a seat near the back.

"My Mommy says that you hurt people. She says that you're bad."

"I do not hurt people. I hurt copies. Copies are not people."

"What are copies?"

"The ones who look like me but are not me."

"Like my Mommy? And Aunt Alison?" Kira frowned at Helena.

"Copies," Helena spat reflexively, the taste of her own blood echoing in her mouth, the pain in her chest when her sestra shot her sharp again. "I am the original."

Kira stared at her for a moment, contemplating her seriously.

"Mommy says you're sisters."

Helena flinched at the word, but couldn't help but correct her. Even with so recent a hurt, she clung to the idea, clung to the only connection she had ever felt, like a starving child to bread.

"Twin sestras."

"That's why you look the same," Kira nodded. "That means you're my Aunt Helena."

Helena turned her head slightly, peered curiously through her blonde tangles of hair.

"Aunt?"

Kira smiled at her, took her hand.

"We're family."

Helena stared at the little hand in hers, a ghost of a smile flitting across her face.

"Family," she echoed quietly.

"Mommy said you want to hurt us, but you don't, do you?"

Helena shook her head.

"I would never hurt you, angel."

"I don't think you're bad Helena. Not really."


	5. Chapter 5

A woman in the line next to them stares at Helena. Stares at her wan face, puffy eyes, tangled blonde hair with roots showing beneath her hood. Stares at her dirty jacket, her scuffed and blood stained boots. She stares also at Kira, a startling contrast in embroidered jeans with her hair pinned to the side with a small pink butterfly clip.

When Kira edges sideways to eye the menu hungrily, the lady squats down and takes hold of her arm.

"Sweetie, are you alright?" she asks, shooting a suspicious look at Helena. "Who's this? Is this your mother?"

Helena sees her hand on Kira, steps forward like a snake striking.

"Do not touch her."

The woman's eyes widen, her fingers release Kira's coat reflexively. Kira edges back until she bumps into Helena's legs. Kira feels Helena coiled tight with anger, senses she wants to hurt the woman. She grabs hold of the hand that rests protectively on her shoulder and tips her head back to look up at Helena. She squeezes her hand until Helena looks back.

"She's not my Mommy. She's my Auntie Helena," Kira tells the woman, who although still not entirely pleased with Helena, seems eased by Kira's familiarity with woman.

She and Helena lock eyes.

"I did not take her," Helena tells the woman, for she can see in her eyes this is what she thinks of Helena.

This makes Helena furious, for she would never hurt children. Never take them away from their families. Children are god's angels on earth, they must be protected.

"I look after her for my sister. We are family."

She says something in the woman's eyes when she looks down at Kira again. Helena tilts her head curiously. She sees her need to protect Kira reflected in this woman, and Helena relaxes a little. She speaks again, her voice almost kind.

"Do not worry. She is safe."

The woman searches her eyes, gives a little nod and steps forward to the counter.

Kira grins at Helena, leans out and swings on her arm

"Can I have chips, Helena?"

Helena nods.

"Then we go home."


	6. Chapter 6

Kira swings Helena's hand back and forth between them, chattering cheerfully now her belly was full and the streets were growing more familiar. Helena surprised both of them when joyous laughter bubbled out of her when Kira blew out her cheeks in a monkey face. Helena couldn't remember laughing like that before. Her laugh had always been sarcastic, maddened, frustrated. Helena liked this laugh.

She would miss Kira's company when she gave her back to Sarah. Kira was light and innocence and childish fun, but she was not Helena's. Tomas was wrong… if she was Helena's child; she too would be stained with the darkness that had eaten away at her soul. This drove Helena to walk faster, for she did not fully understand what had made her this way, did not know if it was catching. How much time Kira could spend with her without being ruined.

As they neared Kira's street, Helena slowed. They might be here. She looked around suspiciously, saw no one, and pulled Kira into an alley. Kira looked confused as Helena pushed her down behind a dumpster.

"Stay here, angel. I will check if it is safe. I will come back soon."

Kira nodded and Helena headed out of the alley. She came to the house where she had found Kira once before. She snuck around the side, tried the back door and found it open, the lock broken. Creeping inside, she saw the chaos left by the Proletheans. This house was silent and empty. If Sarah was here, she would have pounced on Helena the second the door creaked open, Helena knew this.

Kira was still squatting obediently on the ground when Helena returned.

"Where else would mother go, if not this house?"

"Uncle Felix's house," Kira responded immediately.

"Do you know where this is?"

Kira nodded and grabbed Helena's hand.

When they found their way to the graffitied street where Felix lived, after a few false turns, Kira started off at a run. Helena grabbed her by the arm, pulled her to a stop gently.

"Wait. Might not be safe. First we watch."

Helena took Kira to another alley, held her hand as the squatted down behind some old crates and waited. They watched the entrance to Felix's building for close to an hour, sucking on lollypops from Helena's pockets. By the time they saw Sarah walking down the street, it was growing dark and cold and Kira had migrated to Helena's lap so she could share Helena's oversized jacket.

"Mommy!" Kira whispered and tried to jump up, but Helena held her fast, covered her mouth so she wouldn't call out to Sarah.

"Not in the street," Helena whispered in Kira's ear. "Do not draw attention. We will follow her soon."

Helena waited just long enough to be sure her sister was not followed, enjoying the last moment of her cuddle with Kira. Yes, she would miss this little girl. She would miss being family. But it was time.

Helena darted across the road, guiding Kira safely through the traffic this time, cringing as she remembered the time she did not, thanking god that her idiocy had not cost her angel her life. They climbed the stairs to Felix's studio, and Helena banged on the door, standing just slightly in front of Kira protectively, just in case she was wrong and it was not safe. No one would harm Kira, Not while she was in Helena's care, she promised herself.

There is a pause, as someone decides whether to open the door. A pause that ends rather abruptly when Kira calls out, "Mommy! Open the door!"

There is a rattling sound as the screwdriver is ripped from the lock, and the door slams open with a crash so loud Kira jumps behind Helena in fright. Sarah stands in the doorway, wild eyed and pale, frantic at the sound of her lost daughter's voice.

"Kira?!" The name sounds like a sob on Sarah's lips.

But then she sees Helena, and her eyes spring wide, and she raises the screwdriver in her hand like a knife at the ready to stab her twin.

"Helena!" She spits, fearfully and angrily, not understanding why Helena is there but assuming it is a threat.

"Mommy, NO! Don't hurt her!" Kira screeches, shooting out from behind Helena, who has raised her hands in a gesture of placating surrender.

"Please, sestra. I just bring her back. That is all."

Sarah stops, screwdriver mid strike, mouth dropping in confusion.

"What?"

"I bring Kira back," Helena repeats, keeping her hand raise, nudges Kira to go forward with her knee.

Sarah eyes Helena with distrust, but her daughter is in front of her, and if nothing else about this makes sense to Sarah; that does.

"Kira," She says, holds out her hand to her daughter, "Come here monkey."

Kira eyes her and says, "Promise you won't hurt Helena."

Sarah's eyes flick to Helena. She doesn't want to make that promise.

"She didn't hurt me, Mommy, she saved me," Kira told her. "They took her too. They hurt her Mommy! They put her in a cage!"

Sarah looked at Helena again, shocked by Kira's words. The idea of somebody hurting Helena, treating her like a hated animal strikes a chord in her, hurts her. Because even if Helena is murdering psychopath, she's still Helena's twin. Her blood, her family in a way no one else is. Not for the first time, Sarah wonders what made Helena the way she is. What kind of childhood she had. Whether Sarah would be just like her if she had been the baby placed with the church and not the state.

Helena ducks her head, avoids Sarah's eyes. Kira's description of her punishment shames her as though she has been stripped naked in front of her twin. She did not want her to know this. She pushes Kira forward again.

"Go on, Angel. Go to mother."

Kira turns, eyes wide as she looks up at Helena.

"But you're coming in too, aren't you Helena?"

Helena feels Sarah's eyes on her, but doesn't look up.

"No, angel. I brought you home, now I go," Helena says, and shifts her weight, ready to take a step back.

"But we're your family! You belong with us!" Kira's face crumples, and Helena cringes at her disappointment.

She crouches down, reaches out to affectionately stroke Kira's cheek, while Sarah watches the exchange tensely, screw driver once again gripped tightly, but also with a growing curiousity.

"I am sorry, Angel," Helena says in a voice so soft it shocks her twin, "I do not belong. I must go."

"But where will you go?"

Helena shrugs.

"I do not know. But you stay here, Angel. Stay safe."

Kira gives a little sob.

"I love you, Helena. Don't go!"

"I love you too, my Angel," Helena gives Kira's hand a little squeeze before letting go. "But I must."

Helena leaves, flinching at each one of Kira's soft sobs.

"Helena, wait."

Helena stops at her twin's command, looks over her shoulder in confusion. Sarah steps to the side, holds the door open in an invitation Helena does not understand.

Helena cautiously steps back to the door, and hovers uncertainly, looking at Sarah in askance.

"You belong," Sarah says in a slightly resigned tone, as if already knowing she's going to regret this decision.

Kira grins widely at her mother, then at Helena.

Helena still cannot comprehend.

"But… but I am broken," Helena says.

"We'll fix you," Kira insists, a grabs onto Helena's hand and attempts to drag her inside.

Helena stumbles forward a step, but braces herself against Kira's pull.

"And you already have a family," Helena whispers, her voice aching with hurt.

She touches her hand to the spot where Sarah's bullet pierced her chest, and Sarah flinches, guilt running through her.

"I'm sorry, Helena. I thought you were dangerous." Sarah eyes flick to her daughter, her perfect, unharmed little daughter. "I was wrong."

Helena's eyes widen at this, but still she still resists Kira's efforts.

"You want me to stay?" Helena asks in awe, still disbelieving.

"Yes," Sarah says firmly.

Helena's mouth gapes open, her lips fluttering as though she wants to speak but can't. Her hands shake too, and she stays frozen on Felix's doorstep until Sarah loses her patience.

"C'mon, meathead, hurry up already," she says and stalks forward to grab Helena's other hand and forcefully yank her inside.

"You're letting the heat out."


End file.
